Day7: My Ex-boyfriend

Dear Josafag,

I fell hard for you and now that I think about it I don't even know why. I should of chose your best friend Ricardo, instead. You were not attractive, you had many flaws and you were an asshole. But you were really amusing. You were my very first boyfriend in high school and I remembered being oh so nervous. I used to get heavy anxiety attacks and would throw up every morning before the school bell rang because I knew sooner or later I would have to see you. We had P.E together and I used to dread running the mile, because I didn't want you to see me sweat uncontrollably. So I would purposely walk the mile as you ran with my friend Marcy. Marcy liked you too. But it's not my fault she wasn't clear about her feelings. Some days she would make fun of your bad acne, and other days she would tell me she liked boys with long hair. I remember the day you asked me out, she told me she was jealous. I was a little shocked because she would constantly remind me of how ugly you were. Any way I started acting like a bitch towards you because I suspected you of flirting with a girl named Wendy who eventually became my friend after this whole ordeal happened. So you broke up with me, and I had to admit that tore my world apart. I started crying and Marcy paid D'Anthony 10 bux to kick your ass. I wish I would of saw, I heard that he mopped the floor with your ass. It's funny because til this day you think I was the one who set the whole thing up when I didn't! A couple of months later and awkward run ins in the hallway,you had this friend who at the time I despised named Jose. I remember he was such a poser and did anything to get attention. One day he punched my friend Efren in the face,whom I was very close to, so of course I responded quickly. I asked my friend Marcy to help jump him. So when the bell rang I dropped him, repeatedly started kicking him and when he got up Marcy started punching him in the face. We got suspended but thankfully my parents were in Cambodia and my cousin came in to speak to Mr. Hurst. Who would of known that incident brought you and Marcy together? I remember someone told me that you told Marcy it was cool that she jumped Jose. You guys started talking and over the course of a day you guys got together! I was at a lost for words. I couldn't believe my homegirl would actually do some shit like that to me. In that event I stopped talking to Marcy. She then broke up with you because you had bad breath. And then we became friends again. You and I stopped speaking for a solid 2 years. I moved on with my new man Luis, and to my surprise you wanted to talk to me because you were dropping out of high school. I must say that was the most mature thing you have ever done. We reconciled, you shook my hair and told me I had cool 80's hair.We went to the movies and became friends again.

I still can't believe it took me 9 months to get over you. You weren't even all that. I realized I made the hugest mistake as you became less attractive while Ricardo became hotter by the second. It's cool though. Being edgy and wild was the thing that was most stunning about you. In the end, I would choose to relive it all over again.

p.s I hear you have a porno, I'd love to see it. haha